Norms are norms until they aren’t

Growing up in the 80s, my stepfather used to refer to Asian people as Oriental. (Come to think of it, he reminded me of Richard Kind’s character Sam Meyers in the Amazon series Red Oaks, who has an unsettling fixation on Asian women. The series begins in a New Jersey suburb in 1985 and that’s all you need to know. Go watch all four seasons on Amazon Prime NOW.) Our formal dining room was decorated with a Far East motif, including ceramic geishas (I think) and byobu, Japanese folding screens.

Time to get uncomfortable

While doing the research for this project, I shouldn’t have been surprised to find similar references to Asian culture.  In a letter to my mom, my dad brings up his “Oriental” pen pal. Cue my cringe and me exclaiming “How can he be saying this?”  The term “Oriental” describes rugs or a style of medicine, not people.  Back in earlier times, the term was used to describe the eastern part of the world and people who originated from there. (Occident was used to describe the western part of the world, though I’ve never known anyone who’s been called an “Occidental.”)  I found this video extremely informative so please check it out:

https://www.pbs.org/video/why-do-we-say-asian-american-not-oriental-4mohsx/

We can always be better

When I was young, the word “retarded” was used to denigrate someone or something that was deemed to be not normal or just different. Everyone used it, but that’s no excuse. Neither is being a kid – we can always be taught to be better.  I hate the saying “Times were different back then.” It’s a way to dismiss bad or ill-informed behavior without any kind of consequences for being wrong. Shouldn’t there be consequences or is the progression of thinking a form of redemption for everyone?

Another tragic effect from this horrible pandemic has been the harm to Asian American communities; not only through loss of businesses but in a dramatic rise in physical attacks against people.  I was looking to hire someone to help me with my resume and had been talking to several people.  I liked what one guy had to say, but the minute he referenced the pandemic using a racist term, I knew I couldn’t do business with him.  When he followed up with me several weeks later, I told him why he didn’t get the job.   I never heard back from him. Doing that didn’t take much courage, and it was the right thing to do. I’m going to do more of that.

I can’t finish this post without linking to ways to help support the Asian American community. A bigger list can be found here: https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-to-help-asian-communities-2021.html